My fairy soul stands in the middle of an old western stone cabin ready to fly to the OOC party to dance and laugh with her many friends, old and new, all virtual. It feels so real. I feel so alive when inside this pixelated world and I forget all about my real life world problems: Covid 19, Our divisive America, a husband with an incurable Cancer disease chipping away at his life: if only for a few hours.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I escape my first life, to live a second life, other times I feel elated to be able to maneuver through a virtual maze with ease and grace. Sometimes I don’t want to leave my safe virtual world where no physical harm can touch me, where everyone is beautiful to look at, where I can fly. Other times I scold myself for having fun while my husband lies on his couch withering away.

In this pixelated world I have many friends. In my real world I have a few close friends. But since ‘social distancing’ I have not seen my close friends. In my pixelated world I hug and kiss my many friends without a thought. I do know that behind each avatar there is a ‘real’ person escaping their own life issues or perhaps they are just enjoying playing dress up and have no issues. I can’t really say.

I do know this, without my pixelated world to immerse myself in, I would likely fall into a deep depression and not make up my bed in the morning. I wouldn’t do my chores or be the gentle caretaker I must be each day for my husband. So I will dive into this pixelated world once again today fully immersing my heart and soul in a make believe world where life is beautiful and I take a deep breath of life in my virtual fantasy.